Strawberry Wine
by mskashner1218
Summary: Elena had grown up with both Salvatore brothers, one of whom it seemed she'd end up with, until fate stepped in that is.
1. Chapter 1

As soon as he gets up to speak tears come to her eyes, she knows this is hard for him too. She forces a smile to match his, and when he starts to talk she can't hear a word he's saying, so she turns her head to the crowd. Everyone is smiling, happy, but no matter how hard she tries she can't find her happy. Not even on what should be one of the best days of her life. From the time they were kids the whole town was sure they'd get married, even when she just thought they'd always be just friends. The only thing she feels in this moment is pain, so much pain and regret. Pain for the man in the middle of the room talking about love, pain for the man next to her that has no idea what happened while he was away. Because what happened while he was away lit her world on fire, she found herself in finding the man behind the illusion that was his brother. She looks back to the man who's talking about how great of a man his brother is and he catches her stare and she can feel that he knows what she's about to do when he shakes his head. And that's where the regret comes in, regret for how she's about to cause the wonderful man holding her hand pain.

"I am so sorry, I have to go."

She hears the gasps from the guests as she's rushing past them, she makes her way out of the first exit she sees and pauses once she's out the door, the reality of what she just did hitting her like a freight train, and the tears fall. She quickly wipes them away because she can't focus on that right now, she needs to get the hell out of there, so she turns down the main street and begins her walk when she hears him call for her. She starts walking faster, but before she knows it he's pulling her into the alley.

"Elena, what the hell is going on?"

"I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do this anymore Elena? What the hell does that mean? We just got engaged!"

"I know!"

"You know? That's it? Well, what the hell don't I know? Because when I left, we were working on things, and you said you'd wait. So I come home to you, and everything seemed great, I propose and you say yes. Cut to tonight, our freaking engagement party, my brother is toasting us and your mumbling some apology and running out of the room. So why don't you enlighten me?"

"I-"

"You what?"

"I love you."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I love him more."

"You love him? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I am so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. You were away with doctors without borders, and I was here and every time you were supposed to come home it got pushed back. You were gone a year! Life around me was moving on, I felt stuck! And he was there, being my friend."

"I was saving lives Elena!"

"I know that! I know how awful this makes me, but that's been what our whole relationship has been. You being the hero and me being left here. And during this last year, he's been my rock, and I'm even sorrier for that, but because of that I can't marry you."

"Who the hell are you-no. Do not tell me you mean my brother!"

"Please-let me explain."

"Explain? What? That you fell in love with my brother? There is no explaining that. You can both go to hell."

"Wait! Please."

"He's my brother!"

"I tried so hard. I never wanted to hurt you, and neither did he. We both agreed that it was over."

"So let me get this right, I'm off saving lives and your here having a good old time screwing my brother? That's perfect Elena!"

"It's not like that. We never slept together."

"I don't believe you, and right now I can't listen to a damn word that comes out of your mouth. I'm staying with Caroline tonight. I'll get whatever stuff I have at your place tomorrow."

All she can do is nod her head. Because she's solely responsible, she should have told him the truth as soon as he got back, she should have never said yes. Because, no matter how bad it sounded or looked she could never regret his brother. She wipes away her newly fallen tears and makes her way back out onto the main road and goes home to the only real home she's ever known.


	2. Chapter 2

This is my first story, and I was nervous, so thank you for the reviews!

* * *

"Earth to Elena!"

She looks up from her laptop to see that he had sat down across from her, wearing his usual smirk.

"Hey Damon."

"Whatcha reading?" He asks her stealing a fry off of her barely eaten plate.

"Not reading per say, I'm trying to work on my new book."

"How's it going?"

"Not so good. I've only gotten one chapter written, I have no idea what I'm doing with these characters."

"You could always write about me, and my devilishly handsome good looks." He gives her a wink and takes the pickle off of her plate. He never did understand how someone could not like pickles.

"Yuck. And what would I call said book? How to become an asshole in ten days?"

"Touche Elena. But speaking of characters, have you heard from my baby brother?"

"I got a letter from him the other day he's still in Botswana. Right now he doesn't have the best service where he's at so he'll call when he can."

"Uh-huh." He says glancing at the letter she pulled out of her bag and handed to him. Not one word in his letter about anything but what he's been up to. Not a 'how's Mom?', not about Elena, and sure as hell nothing about him.

"Have you written him?"

"Nope."

"I'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

"You are probably correct, but I'm still not going to write him."

"Why?"

"Leave it alone Elena."

"No, not until you tell me what happened before he left."

"For what purpose?"

"Because I care, I'm your friend Damon." She lays her hand on top of his and gives it a light squeeze, and he looks down to their hands resting on top of one another with furrowed brows. She can't fully understand where his pensive look is coming from, but if there one thing she knows about Damon it's that he doesn't get emotional with anyone. Not Katherine, who had been his longest relationship, or Rose who has been his best friend. Even with Stefan, they could be best friends one minute and enemies the next. She sees him frown and the next thing she knows he's pulling his hand back.

"Sure you are."

"Hey, don't do that. It's not fair. You know I am."

"Didn't our local hero fill you in?"

"No, he didn't have time when he got back from the boarding house. The cab was waiting."

"Of course he didn't."

"Damon, come on. Talk to me."

"I asked him to stop going."

"You did? Why?" Her jaw drops, she wasn't expecting that. She's not even sure if he's going to continue so she just waits until he's ready. That was one of the main difference between the Salvatore brothers, Stefan wore his heart on his sleeve, and Damon said he didn't have one. She blames that on Mr. Salvatore, but she'd never say that out loud especially now. He never let Damon live down his mistakes, or the fact that he never wanted to be a doctor. Thank god for Lily, she was the only woman that Damon had ever really loved and that he showcased to the world.

"Because Mom and Dad put everything into their practice, they wanted us to take over, and I'm a screw-up Elena, I'm no doctor."

"You need to give yourself credit Damon, you are one of the best photographers out there. Your covers for National Geographic and Time get you so much recognition. You sell yourself short."

"Blah, blah, anyway, Mom wants to retire, but she wants the practice to stay with the family, they built that from scratch. She can't bare to part with it. So she keeps holding out for Stefan to finally want to settle down. He's doing great work, I get that, but he's been at it almost constantly for four years. Maybe it's noble to him, but it's selfish when he knows what Mom needs. Everything is all on her without Dad and I can't do a damn thing to help her."

"I didn't know, but Damon you do help her. Just by being here."

"Of course you didn't know, baby brother only has time to make a name for him."

"That's not true."

"Says the girl who's been his shadow without a voice for years now." He regrets it as soon as he sees the tears form in her eyes.

"Screw you Damon."

"Shit, I'm sorry Elena, I didn't mean it."

"No, you did."

"No, all I meant was that everyone takes a back seat to Stefan and his needs."

"He had a hard time after your Dad passed away, and helping people has helped him."

"Yeah, this helped him, and he forgot about everyone else."

"So that's what this is about." She can hear the hurt in his voice. He'd never admit it, that much she knows.

"This is about our mother. And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You haven't released a book in over three years, all you do is wait. What are you waiting for?"

She wants to give him an answer but the truth is she can't. Because she has no idea anymore. That's what hurts her the most. All of her future plans had been long forgotten about. She had wanted to travel, write about other countries, about other cultures, swim with dolphins, visit the Vatican and so much more. The life she wanted had changed for the man who forgot about her.

"Look Elena." He says pulling her out of her thoughts. "The answer is simple, if you don't have it maybe you should ask yourself why."

"I know what I'm doing."

"And what's that?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

"No, you don't but I don't think you have an answer either."

"Stop Damon."

"Fine, you can't handle the truth that's not my problem. I just came to tell you I was leaving this weekend."

"For work?"

"Yep, new gig in Aspen."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Maybe two weeks, give or take. Why, going to miss me?"

"Haha."

"You could always come."

"I can't do that."

"And why not?"

"Because I have to work on my book."

"And you can do that anywhere can't you? Come on Elena, live a little. Or is a little adventure too much for you to handle after all these years of sitting in boredom?"

A part of her knows he's right. He's always called her out on her bullshit, and she's always been able to figure him out more than anyone else. They had some sort of understanding. Maybe right now he just needed a friend, and maybe she did need a vacation.

"You know what? I'd love to go."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Wow I wasn't expecting that."

"Did you not mean it when you invited me?"

"Sure I did, I meant it the last twenty times too. You never say yes, so I just wasn't expecting it. Be ready Sunday night, I have a red eye booked; I'll get you a ticket."

"I can buy my own ticket."

"I invited you, my treat. But I have to go, dinner with mom."

"Tell her I said hello."

"Will do."

"Damon?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks, I think maybe I need to get out of here for a while, clear my head."

"As always Elena, glad to be of service."

He gives her a genuine smile before he leaves the grille, and she realizes that she's going to have to tell Jeremy and Caroline, well more like explain to Care, that she's going away with Damon Salvatore. Jer had always thought that there was something going on between her and Damon, and this would just fuel that. Damon and Jer never use to be friends, Damon had always treated Jer like an annoying little brother, but ever since Damon's dad had died him and Jeremy got closer, one day she saw them walking home sharing a bottle of bourbon, she had no idea where they were coming from but Jer just came straight inside after they shared a quick nod, and Damon kept going. But Caroline? Caroline was a totally different story. She had the biggest crush on Damon in high school, and she was so sure she'd be the one to change him. To no ones surprise not soon after she had slept with him he had dumped her. And Caroline never let go of that. She's hated him ever since. A small part of her does understands where Care is coming from, but the bigger part? It knows that Damon never pretended to be anything but who he was, he had even warned her that she would be let down if she expected more that what he was offering. That's one of the things she admired about Damon, he never made any apologies for who he was, he owned every part of him. Sometimes she envied that too.

Instead of thinking about the outcome of both conversations when she went home, she opens up her email and decides to send one to Stefan in case he's able to check his email before he gets the letter she had sent out earlier.

 _Stefan,_

 _Hi stranger. Is that rude? I didn't mean it to be, it just feels like that. I hope your doing okay. Are you getting enough sleep? I started working on a new book but I'm having some trouble finding inspiration, and I happen to run into Damon earlier who asked if I was up for a quick trip to Aspen. I'm going to go. I think it might help with my writer's block. I hope you're not mad. When do you think you'll be back? Well I'm going to get going, I have a lot to do before we leave. T minus 5 days!_

 _Take Care of you, and Love you!_


	3. Chapter 3

"What the hell are you thinking Elena!" Caroline screeches so loud that Elena's sure the neighbors might have actually heard her. She rubs her temple for a minute before answering, already stressed out by this conversation.

"I'm thinking Damon is right and I need a break."

"And I'm thinking Damon cannot be trusted."

"I think she should go." Jer says before grabbing another slice of pizza. She can't help but smile, these people of hers, so predictable in their reactions.

"That is a bad idea, a very bad idea."

"And why is that? What do you think he's going to do to her Caroline?"

"This is Damon Salvatore we are talking about! What do you think he's going to try and do? He'd going to either try and seduce her or he'll leave her alone and some guy could try and kidnap her while he's with his next fling. He manipulates people to get what he wants Elena, do you want to be caught up in that?"

"That's a little dramatic, don't you think? You don't know him as well as you think Caroline."

"Neither do you Jer, you only know what he lets you know."

"Exactly, and you know none of that. Damon isn't the monster you make him out to be." Elena looks back and forth between her brother and best friend, both so head strong, and braces herself to jump in this argument between them.

"I can't believe you're sticking up for him."

"Why not? What has he ever done to hurt me or Elena? Nothing, he's been my friend, and he's always had Elena's back, so you need to back off."

"Okay guys, that's enough. Listen Care, I know he's never going to be your favorite person, but Jer is right, he's been there for us since our parents died. He's not always a jerk, okay? So I'm going to go to Aspen, and it's going to be fine."

"And what does Stefan think?"

"He's not going to care, I emailed him as soon as Damon invited me."

"You're going to go no matter what I say aren't you?"

"Yes. I need this trip. I think it actually might help with my writers block."

"Okay then, don't say I didn't warn you."

"She'll be fine Caroline."

"If you say so."

"I do."

She watches as clearly defeated Caroline fills her glass and makes her way upstairs. No matter how much she wishes that things were better between Caroline and Damon she knows it would take a miracle to make that happen.

"Damon is a dick."

"I'm well aware."

"But to the people he cares about? He'd do anything in the world for them. You are one of those people, always have been. Don't let Caroline get in your head. He's going for work, your going to write, it's really not a big deal."

"Right." I tell him as I grab my glass of wine and head up to check on Caroline, and her bedroom door is open which is a plus. She's sitting at her desk, looking down at what Elena assumes is her planner, back towards Elena. Once Jenna and Ric found out they were pregnant Elena practically had to force them out of this house and into one of their own, both of them beyond nervous to leave her and Jeremy alone, even if they were just moving into the house next door. Pregnancy did a number on Jenna's hormones, but Caroline to the rescue when Jenna was having a meltdown about not being under the same roof of us, worried that we would be lonely, Caroline informed her that with her moms boyfriend moving in it would be the perfect time for her to move out and come live with them, that she would personally keep her eye on them. And the rest is history as they say. They let Care have our parents room, she and Jer grew up in the rooms they were in and neither of them were ready to change that. And in true Caroline fashion, no pun intended, her wardrobe needed mom and dads closet. Care had always been like family, and then just like that she became family.

"Want to help me pack?"

"Only if I must." Caroline turns to Elena with a serious look on her face.

"Come on Care, why does this bother you so much? I have always been friends with Damon."

"This is different Elena."

"Why? Because we're going away?"

"Yes!"

"It's really not a big deal Caroline. Bonnie went with Damon to California a few months ago and it didn't bother you like you are letting this bother you."

"Bonnie went because she knew Enzo would be there."

"She still stayed with Damon, hung out with him."

"It's different Elena!"

"Why?"

"You don't see the way he looks at you sometimes."

"Oh please. I'm with his brother."

"Exactly the problem. Every once in while when we're all together when he thinks no one is looking, he looks at you like he's trying to memorize every detail of you." She doesn't know why this makes her gasp, and she doesn't know how Caroline came up with that crazy notion.

"That's so not true."

"It is. When Enzo was here a couple weeks ago, and we were all at the grille you laughed at something so corny that no one else thought was funny and I happen to look over at Damon, he was zoned in on you and he had this smile on his face that I've never seen before."

"Maybe that's because I'm nice to him." Is all she can say, she doesn't know what else to say, but she does feel warm inside hearing Caroline's words which makes her uncomfortable.

"He's an ass, I don't know why you're ever nice to him. But I know what I saw."

"I think you're making more out of something that isn't."

"I know I'm right."

"Can we just go pack now."

"Ugh, fine. Don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

From what she can see out the window by baggage claim the snow is coming down pretty good so she puts on her scarf and pulls on her hat while she waits. When she looks over at Damon she sees an older lady talking to him and smiling, and then he carries her bags over to the bench for her. He catches her stare and he gives her a smirk that she knows all too well and that eyebrow thing he's perfected. She can't help but laugh as she rolls her eyes at him.

"Please tell me why we had to take a red eye?" She asks him as they make their way over to the rental desk.

"I'm not a people person Elena."

"You fly first class, and you slept like a log, how I have no idea, the turbulence when we got into Aspen was awful. I don't know why you can't fly like a normal person during the day especially when you aren't on a tight schedule."

"Someone is bitter this morning."

"Damon it's five a.m. I should be fast asleep. Never mind the fact it felt like the plane was going to fall out of the sky."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. And it's not my fault you're weird and can't sleep on a plane."

"Ugh, Damon."

"Elenaaaa."

"Just tell me the hotel is close."

"Yes, I rented us a suite, and it's only about a half hour away."

"Perfect."

Thankfully it doesn't take Damon long to get the keys for their rental. He has her start the car while he piles their luggage into the trunk. Her mind wanders to earlier this morning. The whole wait at the airport and before he fell asleep Damon barely talked. Which isn't totally un-Damon like, he's always been a man of few words, but he hasn't joked with her, or flirted or made any sarcastic comments to her, and that is un-Damon like. She wonders if he's lonely. Not in the bedroom sense. Damon has enough women throwing themselves at him to keep his bed warm every damn night if he chose to. Him and Stefan hadn't been close for quite a while, and the only friend he really had was Enzo, who wasn't around that often. He gives her a small smile once he gets in and tells her to buckle up. She's too tired to try and talk to him now, so she'll have to save that for later.

* * *

When Elena wakes up, she panics for a second when all she can see is darkness, but then she feels around and realizes Damon must have carried her in from the car. She throws the covers back, and makes her way into the bathroom and adjusts the water, a hot shower is exactly what she needs after the long day. She can see it's still snowing outside, and decides to ask Damon if he wants to order in when she's done, she's too hungry to have to go out and find a place and wait. She throws on the first pair of sweats she finds and makes her way out to Damon. He's got the news on and dinner waiting for her.

"You read my mind. I'm starving."

"I figured you would be." She sits down across from him and takes a huge bite of the burger, and notices no pickle. "Ate it."

"What?" She says looking up with a full mouth.

"You're pickle."

"Thanks."

"I figured we'd eat in tonight and tomorrow night go out."

"Sounds good.

"I was watching the weather. It's suppose to stop snowing tonight but Wednesday night we'll probably be stuck in. They are saying a huge storm is headed this way. So maybe tomorrow you can do some shopping while I work."

"Sure. Have you heard from Stefan?"

"Nope. Mom did the other day. You?"

"Yeah, he emailed. Told me to enjoy."

"Enjoy what?"

"My trip."

"How chivalrous of him."

"You are very mad at him."

"Not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"What are you five?"

"Are you?"

"Damon."

"Elena."

"Okay, this isn't going anywhere. So, can I see what you're shooting tomorrow?"

"You want to come?"

"Well kind of, yeah. I'd like to see you in your element, it's the only thing I've ever seen you passionate about in the whole time I've known you."

"Okay, you can come."

"Cool. So I'll go with you in the morning for a while and then I'll go do some shopping. I'm sure they have some boutiques I can check out too."

"Downtown Aspen has a bunch of stores I'm sure you'd like. Especially this hole in the wall bookstore by the coffee shop."

"Really?"

"Yep. They carry the classics too. Might even have your first book there too if memory serves me correct."

"First and only."

"Oh please. Don't be a Debbie downer. You'll get your grove back Stella."

"Gee, thanks Damon."

"You up for a movie?"

"Yeah, horror?

"Sounds good. I'll clean up you find something to rent."


	4. Chapter 4

"It's been coming down for hours, there has to be over a foot by now." He tells her as he flops down on the couch and rests his head on her lap.

"They were calling for any where between a foot and 18 inches." She brushes his hair back off of his forehead but doesn't take her eyes away from watching the falling snow. He'd caught her deep in thought and she doesn't want him to see the tears that were threatening to fall. "Did you sleep good?"

"Yeah, sorry I never made it to dinner. We ran into some technical issues."

"You don't have to apologize, you came here to work not entertain me. Did everything turn out okay though?"

"It did, once I get the pictures downloaded I'll show you them if you want."

"I'd like that."

"So Elena, tell me, you have me all to yourself today. What do you want to do with me? Ravage me?"

"Easy there playboy. I'd actually like to talk to you."

"Come on. I just woke up, I haven't even eaten breakfast. I'm still tired and hungry." He gives her a puppy dog face, and she can't help but smile as she rolls her eyes at him.

"Well that's because it's almost two o'clock, you're two meals too late to the day you big baby."

"What if I eat something small and then I'll make us an early dinner, like 4:30?"

"Sure, that sounds good. But right now I'm going to go barricade myself in my room until then and try to write."

"Have fun."

She sticks her tongue out at him.

* * *

"That smells delicious! What is it?" The smell of his cooking snapped her out of her concentration. She had been surprised when she looked at the time. Her writer's block had officially broke and the two hours easily seemed like minutes to her.

"Chicken Vindalou." Damon tells her before turning back around to season whatever else he's making.

"Never had it before."

"Well that's good because it wouldn't even compare to mine."

"Oh please."

"Bite." He says cutting off a small piece and offering it to her.

"Oh my god Damon. That's amazing."

"That's what they all say."

"Perv."

Damon rolls his eyes and goes back to finishing dishing out thier food.

"Red or white?"

"White."

"Good choice."

"This is really good Damon, thank you."

"Pleasure is all mine. Want to binge some TV while we eat? Law and Order is on."

"SVU?"

"Of course, all night marathon. It's like the TV gods knew we'd be stuck in."

She sits their plates on the coffee table while he grab the wine. They eat in silence while the show plays in the background, but she can't concentrate on anything but the fact she still wants to talk to him. Ask him things she can't ask anyone else.

"Go ahead Elena."

"What?"

"I can practically hear the wheels spinning in your head. What do you want to ask me?"

"Do you miss Stefan? And I don't want some stupid snarky answer either. I want you to be honest with me for once."

"I use to." He tells her downing his wine and pouring another glass.

"Why do you say it in the past tense?"

"Must we have this conversation?"

"Please."

"Why?"

"Because I need to have it with someone."

"And it has to be me?"

"Yes."

There's something in her eyes that he just can't deny, she sees it clear as day. She has no idea what that something is, but it makes her feel comfortable. It's always been like that with them. They've never been as close as she is with the others in their group of friends. and ironically she's the only one out of all their friends he's ever been remotely close with. He's always had her back no matter what.

"The first time he went it was weird not having him around. We literally spent our whole lives together. Same school, same college, always lived at home together. Then he wasn't there and I got use to it, but it was nice to have him home again. Then Dad died and it consumed him. He's doing great work, being the hero, but he got lost in it. Four years Elena, he left everyone behind without any consideration for anyone but himself."

She's quiet and she can tell he's wondering what's going through her head. She says a silent prayer he doesn't ask her but when he turns towards her she knows he's not going to let it go.

"Why do you stay?"

"I love him."

"I think that's true in some way, but that's not good enough. And I also think you think your in love with him."

"That's a lot of thinking for someone who doesn't know much about our relationship."

"I know plenty Elena."

"Oh really? What is it that you think you know?"

"I know that everytime Stef comes home you fight, but you plaster that fake smile on your face you think no one can see through. I know you don't want him to leave but you won't ask him to stay, yet every time he leaves you may cry, but you look like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I know that you want a love like your parents had and a part of you knows that's not going to happen with him, but you want it so bad so you stay."

She gasps because he gets her more than anyone ever has, and she hates him for it.

"Where do you get off?"

She starts to get up but he grabs her arm.

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"I-I-I don't have to tell you anything."

"You know I'm right. You're suffocating Elena. Trying to please everyone, it's getting you no where. You're miserable."

"Stop."

"You started this conversation. I'm just trying to finish it."

"I'm done talking." She tries to push him away but he pulls her closer to him. She can't look away let alone walk away. She's stuck. Always stuck.

"You're done because you don't like what I'm saying. So tell me Elena."

"Tell you what?"

"Why did you really come on this trip?"

"I came so I could get some writing done."

"Liar."

"I needed a clear head to write Damon. Let me go."

"Liar."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"The truth. Just say it Elena. I can see it all over your face. Trust me."

"What is it you want to hear Damon?" She feels the tears start to fall and he lets her go, knowing he pushed to hard."That I was suffocating? That I needed a break? That I don't know what I want anymore? Well I am, I do, and I have no idea. So I said yes, I needed space and I couldn't find it there, so here I am. Running away from my life like a child. Are you happy now?"

"No, I'm not happy Elena. Why is that so hard for you to admit? You don't have to be strong all the time and you sure as hell don't have to be responsible for everyone."

"But I do Damon. You don't get it. I need to be able to look after Jeremy for my parents, and for Jenna. She shouldn't have to worry about me. I need to be the strong, responsible girl my parents would expect me to be. Caroline needs a best friend, Stefan needs someone to support him."

"Being there for people doesn't mean you have to take on the parental role in all their lives. They are grownups Elena. You need to worry about what you want for yourself."

"Like you? Not a care in the world? New women whenever you want, plenty of booze. No attachments. No real responsibilities. Coming and going whenever you please, never worried about the other people in your life."

"I care Elena, more than you think. Just because I don't advertise my problems to the world doesn't mean I have none." She sees it the minute he puts his wall up.

"Damon I-"

"Save it. Me and my booze are going to bed."

"Please don't."

"Goodnight Elena."

It's almost one am and she can't sleep. The place has been complete silence since Damon disappeared to his room with the bottle of wine. Everything Damon had said to her was true. What she said to him, not so much and she knows she shouldn't have said it, but he was pushing her and she couldn't stop herself from pushing right back. He's the only person in her life that can take it. She knows it's wrong. For how different they are they are so much the same. She's not going to be able to sleep unless she apologizes. So she finds the courage she usually dismisses and makes her way to his door, and knocks.

"Come in."

"Were you sleeping?" He's facing away from her when she walks in, but rolls over onto his back when he feels her sit on the bed.

"No."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said."

"I know."

"You have always been there for me when I needed it. I shouldn't have thrown it in your face."

"It's fine Elena."

"Why do you do that? Always let me off the hook so easy?"

"You're too pretty to hate."

"Gee thanks." I throw a pillow at him and he quickly throws it back. I can't help but laugh. "Ill let you get some sleep, I just wanted you to know I was sorry."

"You could stay."

"What?"

"I'm not asking you to have sex Elena. I'm saying you don't have to sleep alone."

"I don't know."

"This is your break remember? Take that five Elena."

"Okay, but no funny business."

"I make no promises."

"Damon!"

"Joking!" He says as he moves over and pulls me under the covers, we are facing each other and even though it's dark, I can still see his face perfectly from the moon shining in. "I am glad you came."

"Me too. At the risk of starting another fight, can I ask you something?"

"Ugh, Elena."

"Please, one question, and it's not about Stefan."

"Why do you ask me to come on your trips?"

"You're not the worst company in the world Elena."

"That may be, but you could have easily found a girl to occupy your time better than having me here."

"There isn't a better way to spend my time. There is no one better than you Elena."

His words take me by surprise. Damon's always brutally honest, but never about feelings. And never about himself. He doesn't care if people think the worst of him.

"Damon..."

"Shhh. Don't say anything. I just wanted you to know. I didn't ask you here to seduce you."

"I know you didn't."

"I brought you here so you'd have a break from everyone asking something of you."

"I know."

"I've never asked for anything from you."

"But your about to."

"I am."

"Okay."

"I haven't even asked you."

"You don't need to. I already know what your going to ask. the answer is yes. Maybe I need it too." He rolls over onto his back and I move into him. My head rests on his chest and his arms cocoon me. They are strong and warm and safe. He places a kiss to my forehead and I breathe him in. I was right, Damon and I are alike. We crave that close contact we don't get from anyone else. Being here with Damon shouldn't be this easy. And I know I shouldn't be in his bed like this, but I can't deny him. And I refuse to think about what that means right now. In this moment I'm more content than I have been in a long time, and I fall asleep easier than I can remember.


	5. Chapter 5

_She hears a car pull up, and she doesn't even have to look to know who it is. Somehow she knows he's the only one that would think to look here for her._

 _"How did you know I'd be here?"_

 _"Lucky guess."_

 _"Stefan has been texting me for two hours looking for me. And really,_ _what masochist goes right back to the scene of the crime?_ _"_

 _"Elena, I'm so sorry." He says walking up next to her, not too close, never too close._

 _"How is this my life Damon? How did both of my parents just die? We have driven over this bridge for seventeen years. It's not fair! This is all my fault."_

 _"You're right, it isn't fair but this is not your fault. Black ice caused this."_

 _"They were on their way to me Damon. I couldn't find my damn keys so they were bringing my spare. They were in that car because of my carelessness. How are Jer and I supposed to be okay? How do we move on from this?"_

 _"You just do. I know that's a shitty answer, but it's the truth. You can't change what happened, and I know you probably don't want to hear this but I bet they were so glad it was them and not you."_

 _"Nope. That doesn't make it okay and it sure as hell d_ _oesn't make me feel any better_ _."_

 _"I know, but it's the truth. My mom said your Aunt Jenna and Uncle Ric are moving back here to stay with you guys?"_

 _"Yeah, they'll be here tomorrow."_

 _"Lena, let me take you home."_

 _"No."_

 _"Well you cannot stay on this bridge it's freezing and snowing and if a car doesn't see you-"_

 _"What? If a car doesn't see me I could get hit? I'd go flying off the bridge too? Like my parents?"_

 _"Yes, Elena. Is that what you want to hear. Jeremy is going to need you so you need to get your ass off this bridge or I'll throw you over my shoulders and carry you off. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but there's better ways to work though it than this."_

 _He's so close to her, and she sees his eyes soften when her tears start to fall. She knows Damon doesn't do tears, but he surprises her by pulling her into him._

 _"Come here." He rests his chin on the top of her head and combs his fingers through her hair, and while she isn't very thankful for much right now, she is for Damon. "How about we just sit in my car for a little, I brought coffee. You don't need to go back yet. Just let Jeremy know your fine."_

 _"Okay, I'd like that. Thank you Damon."_

 _"Of course."_

* * *

When Elena wakes up, she wakes up alone to the sun shining in. She breathes it all in for a minute. How at peace she feels here, away from her life. That _five minutes._ It was the best night sleep she's had in a long time despite the dream she had. She still doesn't know how he does it, understands her, forgives her, stands by her even when he shouldn't, saves her. She can't even remember when it started, it's always felt so natural, like it was always that way.

"Hey sleepy head." He says pulling her out of her head pushing in the room service cart.

"Hi yourself. What time is it?"

"Almost eleven."

"I haven't slept this late since I was a teenager."

"I always pick the hotels with the most comfortable beds, it's a talent."

"Sure it is smart-ass."

"I take it you slept good?"

"I did. I had this dream-"

"About me? Who doesn't?"

"Ugh! But it was about you."

"Do tell. Was I naked?"

"No. It was about the night you found me on Wickery Bridge."

"Do you dream about the accident often?" She can hear the uncomfortable undertone, but she knows he's asking because he cares.

"Not as much as I use to, but it still makes an appearance at least two to three times a week."

"Elena..."

"You don't have to say anything, it's okay. But I am curious about something."

"What's that?

"How did you know I'd be there?"

"Like I said then, lucky guess."

"I don't think it was just a guess. You knew. You didn't try to text me, you didn't have to look for me, you just knew."

"I did just know. We're a lot a like Elena. They were panicking because no one could find you. I mean they were all a bunch of idiots if you ask me."

"Damon!"

"They were. I could see the guilt in your eyes when Liz brought you home. So when Stef said you weren't in your bed when he went to check on you I knew you'd go to the last place they were, the place that took them away from you, because that's what I would do."

"Why didn't you tell Stefan?"

"He should have been able to figure it out on his own, but I knew if I did he'd overwhelm you. You didn't need over bearing. You needed to just be."

"I was so grateful it was you that night." I tell him taking hold of his hand and squeezing it. He gives me a pensive look before quickly pulling away.

"Let's eat before this gets cold."

"Sure."

Damon was done divulging and that was okay. I'd pushed him enough in the past twenty-four hours.

* * *

Since it was his last shoot Damon had said that today would be a twelve hour day so Elena decided to do some shopping. A coffee mug for Jer and Ric, and cashmere scarf for Care and Jenna and a cute onesie for her niece. She spent half the day trying to find a small thanks for the trip gift for Damon, because he was right, she needed this. And just when she was about to give up she saw the small hole in the wall book store he'd told her about. She's taken aback when she walks in, there's no fancy tablets, or computers, it's all old school. Just rows and rows of books. When she finally finds an older copy, surprisingly in good condition of Gone With The Wind she knows shes hit the jackpot.

"Hi dear." The elderly woman says as she greets her with the warmest smile.

"Hello."

"Did you find everything okay?"

"I did. My friend is going to love this."

"Into the classics is she?"

"He is."

"My mistake."

"It's fine."

"Would you like to buy a raffle ticket? You win a signed copy of _Home,_ and all the money goes to the new shelter for supplies."

"What kind of shelter?"

"For women and children who hit hard times and need a place to go. A warm meal, a bed, clothing. Whatever they need we want to have it available."

"That's amazing. I'll take three."

"That's very generous, they are ten dollars each, are you sure?"

"I am."

"Thank you dear. A young man that visits here donated the book, says he knows the author. Such a sweet guy he is."

"I'm sure he is. Thank you." She takes her bag and makes her way back to the hotel. She doesn't understand why Damon only wants everyone to see his bad side. All the good he's done and does he never speaks of. For all the years they have been friends she can't figure out why. It drives her crazy. Once she's back she calls Jenna and Care to check in. When both her aunt and best friend tell her how relaxed she sounds, she knows something has to change. She's barely noticed how off she's been lately, but everyone around her has. She decides to leave Damon a note when she heads in to bed to come wake her. She doesn't say why because she knows he wouldn't want to talk about it and tonight is their last night. Tomorrow they'll be back in Mystic Falls, and she's worried he won't be as open as he has been this trip. This is the closest they've probably ever been. It makes her happier than it should.

"Lena?"

"What time is it?" She asks looking up, the light from the T.V giving her a clear view of him.

"A little before midnight."

"That was a really long day."

"Yeah, there were a bunch of ridiculous issues. Is everything okay? Did something happen back home?"

"No it's fine."

"Why am I waking you then?"

"Lay with me?"

"I don't think-"

"Just on top of the covers."

"Okay."

"What's going on Elena?"

"I went to that bookstore today. The lady-"

"Mrs. Green."

"Mrs. Green told me that they were doing a raffle for an autographed copy of my book."

"Of course she did." He says rolling his eyes and turning onto his bank.

"Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Never let people see the good in you?"

"Because when people see good, they expect good, and I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations."

"I think that's bull. I think your afraid of failing to live up to them."

"Whatever helps you sleep better."

"You know I'm right. You're like that with everyone. Well almost everyone. Not your mom and not me. Your mom I get, she is your biggest champion, you are her pride and joy, you always have been. But why me?"

He rolls over and gives me painful smile, one that tells me he's afraid to tell me his answer. It makes my heart beat faster, and I almost tell him to never mind the question but he reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear. Before I can stop myself I'm leaning into his touch.

"You are the one person that understand me. I don't have to say much, and sometimes nothing at all. You can tell just by the way I look at you. You don't think I'm a screw up. You always give me the benefit of the doubt, more than I deserve usually. You have my back, since we were little, for no reason. You just get me. I can be me with you. I appreciate that more than you'll ever know."

"Damon..."

"Don't say anything. You got your answer, I'm going to head to bed now."

"Stay."

"That's not a good idea."

"It's our last night. Please."

"Okay."

We lay there, each on our own pillow, pretending to be asleep. And when I finally can't take it anymore after what seems like hours, but is probably just minutes I move closer to him laying my head on his chest. And in seconds his arm is around me, our hands resting on top of each other on his stomach. It's so wrong what we're doing. Stefan would hate us. But neither of us make a move to stop. The last thought I have before I fall asleep is that Caroline was right, I've been missing the way Damon looks at me, and the worst part is I never want it to stop.


	6. Chapter 6

She peeps out of the covers and glances at the clock, before groaning and rolling over ignoring the knocking on her door.

"I'm not going away Elena. Unlock the door."

"Come on Care, it's so early."

"Would you prefer I pull a Damon and climb in the window."

"Ugh." She groans again and gets up to unlock the door before crawling back under the covers as her best friend marches in and takes a seat on the bed. "What was so important it couldn't wait another hour?"

"I there's something going on with you so spill. I saw it the minute you got back. It's been three days and you've been holed up in your room."

"I finished my book."

"You did?"

"You sound surprised."

"Well, I kind of am. In three days?"

"Yeah, well kind of, I started in Aspen and then when I got back it poured out of me. Damon told me I need to take five, so I did. And it worked."

"Well damn, Damon is good for something."

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Put him down like that for no reason. You're part of the problem Care, it's not just Damon."

"So what, your fighting his battles for him now?"

"This is hardly a battle. I just don't know why you're still holding onto something that childish that happened so long ago that everyone including Damon told you wasn't going to happen."

"I don't know why you're so angry with me." She tells me as the tears well up in her eyes.

"Care, I'm sorry. I just-I'm afraid to say this out loud because of what it means. What you'll think of me. I'm taking out my frustration on you, your the first person I've talked to in days. I didn't mean it."

"You can tell me. I'd never judge you, but you don't have to be mean about it."

"You're right I don't, I am sorry, but you might hate me though."

"I won't. I mean it's not like you jumped into bed with Damon." She starts to laugh until she sees my face fall. "Holy shit. You slept with him?"

"No. I mean yes. I mean we literally just slept in the same bed."

"That sleze ball! I knew he was going to pull that one bed hotel room crap."

"Except he didn't. I went into his room and I'm the one who asked him to stay."

"What were you thinking Elena?" She asks, a horrified expression on her face.

"I was thinking how nice it was to not have so much on my shoulders, to have someone not expect me to hold my shit together all the time."

"He's Stefan's brother."

"I know that! I know how screwed up it is. But he's so different with me."

"It's an act Elena."

"No. You don't get it. I never told you Damon found me the night my parents died, did I?"

"No, you said you just needed some alone time."

"I lied. Damon found me on the bridge."

"Elena! It was snowing like crazy that night."

"I know. Damon wasn't too happy."

"He should have told us."

"That's not the point. He saved me, you know. That night their car went off the bridge, I just needed be back there and I was standing there, I didn't even think about it, I was devastated. And if a car came around the corner too fast I'd have been a goner, but Damon showed up, basically said to get my shit together, and if I didn't get off that bridge he'd throw me over his shoulder and carry me off. He knew I was there, because he understands me in ways I don't even understand. Damon's in my life because I need someone like him in my life. He's never not going to be my friend and I want you to accept that."

"Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Because Damon likes his good deeds to go unnoticed. So I respected that."

"What changed?"

"I needed you to understand how important he is to me."

"How important though? I mean, come on Elena, a few days with him and you wrote a whole book. You haven't been able to do that in three years here."

"I don't know. He just lets me be. It's so easy to be around him."

"Stefan is not going to like that."

"Stefan hasn't called or emailed since I told him I was going with Damon almost three weeks ago."

"He hasn't?"

"No. I'm going to tell him I need a break. He should take some time there to think about what he wants and I can do the same."

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"Because of Damon?"

"No. Because of me."

"You say one thing, but your face says another."

"I've never been a good liar, huh?"

"Not one time that I can remember."

"You cannot repeat what I'm about to tell you."

"Promise."

"No swear it. I know you and Stefan are close but the last thing I need is for you to slip up."

"Stefan and I are friends, but Elena, you are my family." I can't help but choke up, I am so lucky to have Care in my life.

"Damon was busy on the trip, but everything about it felt natural. He'd go to work, I'd work, he come home and order dinner and he never forgot to order no pickles on mine, or we'd cook and watch T.V., we talked and laughed."

"Damon Salvatore laugh?"

"Care."

"Okay, okay. Continue."

"I liked it, it felt like a normal relationship should. For those ten days I remembered what I should have never forgot to miss. What Stefan takes away every-time he leaves me, every-time he doesn't think about me, when I go weeks without a word. And Damon gave that back to me. I don't know how, but I feel it. Damon made me feel alive again on that trip."

"Oh boy. Maybe your right, you should take a break and figure out what you want. Because you shouldn't feel the way you do with Damon. I know your going to say this just because I don't like him, but that's not true. You should take time for yourself, but if you feel something for Damon just remember he doesn't do relationships. I know he cares about you, more than he cares most people, but he'll hurt you Elena."

"I don't want a relationship with Damon. It's not about him." Her friend gives her a sad smile and hugs her, and when she hugs her back she allows her smile to fade away, because they both know she feels more than she should for Damon.

* * *

"Little Gilbert, what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm asking Bonnie to marry me."

"Finally grew a pair."

"Dick."

"So why are you here and not asking her?"

"I'm here because I'm scared as hell she's going to say no."

"I mean I would say no."

"Do you always have to be an ass? I should have just went to Ric."

"Sit down Jer, I'm screwing with you. Of course she's going to say yes. That girl has been in love with through your emo stage, think she'd bail when you finally get your shit together?"

"I'm not rich, I live with my sister and her best friend, I don't exactly have the world to offer her."

"She doesn't care about that. Bonnie knows who you are, and she's still crazy about you. Not everyone gets lucky enough to find someone like that, so don't screw it up okay kid?"

"You mean like Elena?"

"We're not talking about her."

"We're not? Someone who likes you just the way you are? We were talking about me, but I'm not blind Damon. That person for you is Elena, isn't it?"

"Drop it Jer."

"You're in love with my sister. I'm not dumb Damon. I heard Care say something about the way you look at Elena, and then she comes back from her trip happier than she's been in a long time. She's got this picture on her phone from the trip and the way your looking at her says a lot, I'm a dude and even I can see it."

"I think your reading too much into things."

"And I think you know I'm right. There's nothing wrong with wanting that."

"She's my brothers girl!"

"Yeah, she is, but somehow you two end up being what the other needs. I've always been the youngest of our group, no one paid much attention to me except when I was doing things wrong, but I saw everything. And Stefan isn't right for her."

"That doesn't make me right for her, or it any better."

"No. It makes you an even bigger ass, but I just want my sister to be happy and that goes for you too brother."

"Do I get to be best man?"

"As long as she says yes."

"She will."

"Let's go find out. It's girls night at our place."

"Your just going to show up at eleven at night?"

"Why not?"

"I like your style."

* * *

"Honey, I'm home." He says coming up behind me and spinning me around to face him.

"Shit! Damon!"

"Shhh."

"Are you trying to scare me to death, sneaking in like that."

"I'd never." He's so close I can practically taste the bourbon on him. It's like he reads my mind because his eyes go straight to my lips and I have to remind myself to breathe and back out of his hold.

"Why are you here so late?"

"No questions, go back upstairs and wait fifteen minutes and then bring Barbie and Judgy down to the living room."

"What? Why?"

"I said no questions. Seriously might want to get your hearing checked."

"Jackass." She grabs the popcorn and starts to walk away and rolls her eyes.

"Lena?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't roll your eyes at me."

"How did-"

"I know you." He says giving me his best cocky smirk, and no matter how much I want to be irritated I can't help but smiling at him. She makes her way back upstairs and does what Damon asks. She asks Bonnie and Care to go downstairs to pick another movie. When they reach the bottom step all they see is a candle lit living room with Jer standing there and Damon off to his side. Bonnie's already got tears in her eyes and they all walk into the living room. Her brother, happier than she's seen him in a long time. Caroline squealing with tears in her eyes as Bonnie throws her arms around Jer saying yes over and over. My eyes meet Damon's and he gives me a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes. He quickly looks away, back to Bonnie and Jeremy. She's not an expert on Damon Salvatore, but she knows that look because she's trying her hardest not to let it appear on her face. She's over the moon for her brother and best friend, and she can't wait for Bonnie to be her sister, but at the same time she can't help but wish she had that. She just never knew Damon wanted it too.


End file.
